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Growing up, my life, like yours, was filled with contrasts;


the exquisite grandeur of Nature, music, dance, dogs, laughter, freedom, playfulness, intelligence ...

and the chaotic hysteria of the human condition; 


hierarchy, misunderstanding, anxiety, cruelty, enslavement, guilt, anger, confusion, abandonment, violence, shame.

How could all this Beauty exist amidst the madness of separation, disease and death?

Was suffering necessary?  Noble?  Inevitable?

If I took my own life, would that assuage my pain and struggle?

Could I escape?

Why did bad things happen to good people?

What was God?  

At times, a universal, omnipresent Love had filled my heart and mind,


a formless field, vast and all-encompassing,


It sometimes gently spoke to me, 

from deep inside


It dwelled.

What was It?

Why would It create this polarity we call life ?

Why make complication and confusion when Love is so perfectly simple ?

It took me 30 years to realize, 


It hadn't.

How did I get here ?

In 1971, my brother introduced me the to I Ching.  

It helped me learn to accept the ebb and flow of life and ride the wave,

rest in something wiser than the way things seem to be.


No more raging against injustice,  I settled into a sort of poetry, even reverie, at times,

entrusting my life, more and more, to the greater Whole, Tao, Buddha, Spirit, Self...

allowing whatever needed to occur, to occur, whenever, however it did,

innately knowing that nothing is ever really as it appears.

There were highlights, moments of sheer recognition,

aha's that left me trembling in awe

and laughter as the densities lessened and the comedy revealed.

I also wrote in journals, O many, many journals, mostly burned now on the beach.


There was always a Voice inside me, ever kind, without condemnation, of anything, or any circumstance, or any one.

I came to trust this Voice,

pure Love, intelligence, inspiration,


and eventually, a long time later, I came to recognize It as my own pure Self,


not the me I seem to be, but the me I AM, WE ARE. GOD IS.

Next chapter: 
Life Is A Dream
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